Girl Talk: His \ Her First Impression of You
Where the hair styles of the Black woman is concerned, there are more than can be counted, with new ones being created almost every day. No one trend lasts longer than a few months as they change as often as do the seasons. However, the only thing that remains constant about our style is the fact that it is ever changing. Aside from loving to look fabulous everywhere we go, what is the real reason why we feel the need to glamorize constantly? Sure we love the sideways stares we get from other women and the attention we get as we enter a room, but what do our men really think of our sometimes over the top fashion?
We can all safely agree that men are not exactly the most observant beings. In fact, it usually takes some drastic change to occur for him to notice. Is this why we don a new do as often as we do? Have our hairstyling and fashion methods adapted to the “un-detailed” oriented mind of our men? Nine out of ten times a man will admit that he prefers simple or neat to eye catching and outrageous. When you ask men how they prefer to see a woman’s hair, the overall response almost seems to be rehearsed, “Natural.” However, what does “natural” mean to a man? We often jump the proverbial gun and run with this answer before really thinking about it.
To analyze these pressing questions we must first understand that men are programmed to be in survival mode constantly. Before confusion sets in, let me explain. Men are purely logical in the way that they only analyze the necessities, as in bare necessities, nothing more nothing less. Not to be confused with lackluster which is defined as dreary, in short men just do not see the logic or need for such extravagance. When a man speaks of a woman looking natural, it does not necessarily mean having unprocessed hair, no makeup and wearing a dashiki. It simply means that he prefers less. Men prefer less showy and more beauty. All he means is that he wants your makeup to look natural and your hair to look like it grew from your scalp. It is that simple!
Admittedly so, weaves and wigs are confusing for the women who love wearing them. So how much more difficult would it be for a man of logic to wrap his brain around the idea of them? Think about it. Have you ever walked down the isle of your grocery store hoping no one you knew would see you because you were not as dressed as you usually are to find that a gang of men hit on you in every aisle? This is because men perceive everything else added to your image as unnecessary. Think about the time you were dressed in your most slamming outfit, fresh nails, your designer handbag, and banging weave job. Do you remember all of the looks from men that you got? Remember all the men that never approached you? Think of it this way. While window-shopping you come across this crazy expensive fur in the window, you like the look but you just walk away because you know you cannot afford it. This is similar to the thought process of a man when he sees a flashy and extravagant woman. Sure, he likes what he sees, but he also sees many “add-ons” which he deems unnecessary, sending a red signal to his brain that he cannot afford you, so he just looks from a distance.
Many years ago, I concluded that women do not dress up for men; they do for other women. Although it sounds crazy, I will be the first to admit that I feel my most fabulous when I receive more attention from other women than I do men. Why, you ask? Well, if a woman eyes you from head to toe you know she is admiring you and you look amazing. On the other hand, when men do it is likely he is thinking something more along the lines of sex in a situation like this. However, men are in love with the pretty, un-made up, girl next-door image and often consider this type of woman to be wife material. I once asked my husband why this is so. He said, “The woman at the Laundromat wins the guy over the girl in the mini and stilettos in the club because he gets a rare opportunity to see her in her naturally beautiful state before the first date.” He also went on to say that the woman at the Laundromat seems more mature and responsible among other things, and that’s a key quality a man looks for when choosing a life partner. Well girls, there you have it. Plain Jane may appear that way to you but she is definitely worth keeping to him.