Are Black men really intimidated by a woman who is more successful? Or is it a turn on, and if so, why? Success is the process of achieving a favorable outcome from taking action toward a set goal. Tangible rewards like money and other assets are a mere reflection of your accomplishments, but is not success within itself. The real reward is gaining confidence, a skill – and most of all- knowing that you had the faith and ability to complete all the tasks you embarked upon. Success is a positive trait, so why are some men “intimidated” by successful women?
It is normal for a man to feel a little intimidated by a woman with an impressive list of achievements. In order to fully understand why this may be, look at the gender roles that society has implemented on us. From an early age, most men are taught to be breadwinners, and provide for their families. A man is seen as more powerful and has more opportunities in life when his bank account is full, and he is educated. This issue transcends racial barriers, because it is not just black men, but men in general who may have an “ego complex” when their manhood is threatened by an accomplished woman. This is the basic outline given and taught to us even though most of these traditional gender roles have long been obsolete.
There is a difference in challenging a man, and challenging his “manhood,” or ego. An insecure man fears a successful woman has more options than he does, which is true. For this reason, they may only date women who are not as educated or accomplished as they are, simply to boost their ego and have the upper hand in the relationship. In contrast, secure men respect an independent, intelligent, and ambitious woman who can stand her ground and maintain her femininity. A women who possesses these qualities is the type of challenge men seek to conquer.
In my opinion, I do not think that a secure man is intimidated by a woman who is more successful. He is not threatened by anybody’s accomplishments, for he knows that he is in control of his own destiny. I would say men are more turned off by a woman who brings that “workaholic” mentality into her love life. Men may assume that she may also lack domestic and nurturing skills because her career and goals are the only top priority. This is why a lot of successful women are single, because they do not know how to balance out the work and home life, unless they are single by choice.
Truth is, men like to feel wanted and useful. Thus, having the “I don’t need a man for anything” attitude is not attractive. A woman who constantly brags about her success or uses her accomplishments to make others feel small is emasculating and patronizing. In the man’s eyes, she is seen not a partner or an equal, but an opponent. She is challenging his manhood, so he sees her as competition. Therefore, he is turned off.
So, what can be gathered from this? Let me say that an accomplished, yet balanced woman is an asset to a relationship. Remember ladies and gentlemen, my emphasis here is on balance! Having that career oriented mentality is great, but do not compromise your love life or your social life. Do not brag about your success, because it should speak for itself.