“Talkin bout good and bad hair. Whether you’re dark or you’re fair. Go on and swear, see if I care good and bad hair”. Don’t you just love Spike Lee’s movie ‘School Daze’? If you haven’t seen it (and I can’t imagine that anyone over 30 hasn’t) you should. You got the “jigaboos” or the mostly dark skin girls with “nappy hair” versus the “wannabes” or light-skinned girls with weaves all down their backs. They taunt and tease each other throughout the entire movie.
It appears that since I started my healthy hair journey and discovered that I have relaxed 4B hair I’m pretty sensitive about the terms good and bad hair especially since my hair is considered “bad hair”. According to the dictionary ‘good’ means morally excellent, high quality, well behaved while the word ‘bad’ means not good in any manner or degree, of poor or inferior quality. Wow… and we’re using these terms to describe our hair? So, good hair can be described as hair that is morally excellent or of high quality and bad hair is not good in any manner or of poor quality. It appears that people refer to all hair as good hair as long as it’s not type 4 hair. It’s important to note that African American hair can fall into any type but more than likely you see type 4 hair. It’s a kinkier and coarser texture than any other hair type. I’ll admit it can be a little difficult to manage but it’s not ‘inferior quality’. I’m sure someone with no hair (for example, some one who has gone through chemotherapy) would rather have my hair than no hair. Any hair is good hair to them. And any woman will tell you, regardless of hair type, there are days when her hair is on point and days that she’s having a “bad hair day”. Just because you have curly hair or straight hair doesn’t make it better than anyone else’s hair. We are all different for a reason. This world would be pretty boring if we all had “good” hair.
I had to get on my husband who said ‘I hope our daughter has my hair because [our first kid] had your bad hair’. I was appalled, I made him feel bad. Now I’ll admit my son does have my 4B kinky hair with a few looser 4A curls sprinkled throughout which is why I wanted to cut it ASAP. It was so thick and he would cry like I was killing him anytime I combed it. Luckily he’s a boy and I don’t have to deal with it if I don’t want to. We keep it cut low. However, if we have a little girl I will just have to find the right products to manage her hair and keep it healthy. That is what’s important. “Good hair” is healthy hair whether you’re dark or you’re fair. I don’t want my little girl growing up saying “I have bad hair”. I want her to know that hair is hair and everyone’s hair is different. Regardless of its texture or type your hair should be YOUR crown and glory.
And while I’m on my soap box, we also have the natural versus chemically treated hair debate. Come on people!!! Its hair and it’s on my head so I can do what I want to do to it to make it more manageable for me. I just don’t have the patience to deal with my natural texture, that doesn’t mean I hate it and that doesn’t mean that I think it is “bad hair”. My hair doesn’t need a spanking to behave. In fact, I love my hair but I love to wear it straight all the time. That’s what makes me feel good. Do you know how much heat damage I would have from straightening my hair if it were natural? Then I’d have natural, unhealthy, heat fried hair. If you do have the patience and the desire to go natural then that’s great for you. Do what makes YOU feel good.
The point I’m trying to make is there is no such thing as good hair and bad hair. It’s just hair. Some hair is straight and fine, some hair has beautiful bouncy curls, and some hair is kinky. You can loc it, weave it, curl it, relax it, crimp it, fry it, dye it, and lay it to the side! It’s your hair! Embrace it!