My Natural Hair is a Man Trap
o I have embraced my natural hair for about six years now. During this time I have noticed a peculiar pattern. Men really love my hair in certain styles more then others. There is talk about how natural hair is not as appealing to men as straight hair (most can’t tell the difference between a perm or a blowout). But that issue is not what I am responding to.
When it comes to my hair, men like it a very specific way. You would think they would be partial to WNG, or day old twist outs. But I have noticed that I get more eye contact, smiles and numbers when I look busted.
Yes busted. I mean 10-day-old WNG curls, pulled into a ponytail, begging to be detangled, dim, straggly, and as thirsty as a whale in the dessert. Need I say more? As odd as this may sound, men love it. I have developed three possible theories to explain this phenomenon.
The Control group:
I walk out of the house looking fly. My usual go to style is business causal. No heels during the weekday. My hair is slick, jumbo curls or WNG. I prefer wearing it slightly wild and big. I go to the mall, the gas station and a quick trip to the grocery store.
- 5 smiles
- 1 greeting and a smile
- and few odd stares (creepers need love too)
- And Maybe the occasional one liner but not from total strangers.
The Test Group:
I roll out bed into baggy sweats. I walk the dog, which pulls me through a puddle, graciously sharing a pre-bath-soak. Wearing a high bun/lose pineapple, I towel off just before running out to get some milk. By the time I reach the store, my hair is falling down trying to remind me that a serious shampoo is way over due. (What can I say; some days I am a lazy natural.)
- 4 smiles
- 3 greetings and a smile
- 2 numbers (one of whom I may just call
- And the regular stares (probably from people wondering if I was homeless)
Theory # 1:
Fairly well off men have approached me when I looked my worst. They may be thinking: “Here is a diamond in the rough. I can take her home, clean her up and set her on my shelf. I have a lot to offer her. And I can change her life. Excuse me miss..” I don’t care what anyone says, men love to feel like super heroes.
Theory # 2:
Men feel comfortable approaching me when I do not look like a Diva on a Mission. Maybe that look is somewhat intimidating. They may be thinking: “ Here is a chick who is pretty good looking, but not high maintenance. She is confident enough to come out of the house with out make up or a brush. She seems nice and has smiled at me. Excuse me miss…”
Theory # 3:
When I look my best I am usually headed somewhere important. This may give off an “I am busy, don’t bother me” vibe. Men may not notice the flaws I think I have when I look rough. It may just be that when I look rough I am also relaxed. Those are the times I really couldn’t give a care in the world. And all I want is all I already have. This disposition is very appealing and disarming. It can be unnerving to approach a woman. A calm vibe may enable them. They may be thinking: “OH YEAH!! Excuse me miss…”
This is all just speculation. So I am writing this to see if there is anyone out there who agrees or disagrees with me.
- Has this happened to you?
- Which of your usual hairstyles do men seem to respond to the most?
- If they were attracted to messy looks, would you ever be willing to slum down?
- Think back to the times you were hit on, what were you wearing? Do you see a pattern?
If you are a man, please feel free to shed some light on this subject as well