Weave or Natural? Which Does Your Man Prefer?

Weave or Natural?  Which Does Your Man Prefer?Can you tell the difference between a weave and non weave-wearing woman?   Maybe not if you’re a guy, but probably so if you’re a living, breathing, female.   You can lace it front, back and in between but women have become connoisseurs on the world of weave.   At the end of the day, however, not only do women seek to impress each other, but also their male counterparts.

Scientists agree that men have a biological inclination to feminine characteristics.   Among fertility and other aesthetic feminine traits is a general love for long, flowing locks.   The hair industry has tapped into this lust for locks and has made it into a goldmine.

But what do men really think?   I took to Facebook and Twitter recently to poll guys on which they prefer- weave or natural?   Most guys responded that they prefer natural if possible, but won’t argue with a weave wearing woman.   Some felt strongly that a woman should wear her natural hair at all times, and others were indifferent.   Overall it was shockingly split down the middle.   Thanks guys!   That helps us out a lot.

What I really need to know is- Is it a deal breaker?   I’ve heard some men bash weave, lacefronts, wigs etc. but turn around and say how “Bad” Beyonce and Meagan Good are.   Hmmm…I guess their hair just grows real fast.   Don’t be fooled fellas. [pullquote_right]Some of the “baddest” chicks in the game are rocking those same lace fronts you tirelessly tease.[/pullquote_right]

Please note that “bald head scallywags” are not the only people who wear fake hair.   Black, white, red, purple, and women of all races, backgrounds, and hair types wear weave.   I have friends with mid back length hair that wear wigs, tracks, etc. for fun and to switch things up every now and then.

Take myself for example.   I have a good amount of natural hair that can take me 3-4 hours to wash, condition, and flat iron.   I love my hair and I wear it every chance I get, but can you imagine?   Working out, running through the rain, and even dancing can become treacherous endeavors.   I’ll be unbeweaveable every now and then to keep my sanity.

3cAt the end of the day I believe a female should focus on the hairstyle that makes her happy and best expresses her style, personality, and creativity.   If a man will change his tune over a piece of hair, he’s more than likely not for you.   While cliché’, relationships should be based on love, common interests, and trust….not how many inches of virgin Remy you can or cannot fit on your head.   If you were to develop cancer, alopecia, or have a tragic hair disaster, would he still be there for you?

So what is your take as a male? Are weaves unnatural, unnecessary, and unattractive?   Or can they be done with taste and tact?   Would you date a woman who wore fake hair or is it a deal breaker?

Females how do you feel about being judged and objectified for a hairstyle?   It seems that other cultures don’t judge their females as meticulously as we do.   Is it a valid debate or are we losing for loving long locks?

Author: Ciara Foster

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  1. Weaves, extentions and wigs. A black woman’s burden and white women’s right? I think not. Weaves have been given a bad name; women are told they are a false advertisement and fake, yet men frequently rush to praise Beyoncé and Rihanna #slaying ? Firstly, it’s vitally important to note that it’s NOT just black women who wear weave. And it doesn’t mean a woman is insecure. Almost all women wear, or have tried makeup. It’s not regarded as false advertisement so frequently but nevertheless , men act superior in judging women on it. As a mixed raced girl who suffered from hair loss as a result of stress, I grew self conscious. Not insecure… I just missed some of my hair. It was still long, just thin, and I couldn’t risk trying new colours or lengths in risk of damaging my own hair.
    Kylie Jenner, queen of racial appropriation wears wigs, weaves… All sorts to change up her look. But because she is WHITE it’s …ok? I think not. If men are to hate weave, hate it on every woman. Not just the black women. It’s important also, to remember we all derive from black women, the “7sisters of Africa”, and quite frankly if it weren’t for white superiority imposed on adventures by Columbus and the triangular trade, would we care so much?? I wear extentions, weave, whatever you want to call it. And it’s helped my natural hair grow, have a break from dying and heat. I appreciate it, greatly, but u can’t help but hate boys disliking it just because I’m not 100% white. As for false advertisement.. Men take a look at yourselves. Wearing Jordan’s, yeezys and driving your dads car, except you yourself are broke. Or how about those tight underpants and socks.. Huh?
    Black women aren’t the only fake ones. Veneers, makeup, boob jobs, nose jobs ( common in Islamic countries), and even simple daily tasks such as shaving our legs, can be deemed as “fake”. So look a little skin deeper, the next time you think extensions are the only fake thing a woman has to offer. Those white playboy bunnys and bleach blonde white girls don’t stay natural either. Hair isn’t everything in a woman’s world, so it shouldn’t be for a man either. We know you wear weave and get hair transplants also.

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  2. I am a single, educated, black man in my 20s. I am completing my 2nd degree and plan to enter the medical field in the next couple years. I say this not to boast, but to establish that I am an educated black man who has only grown in appreciation for black women, especially as I began to study the state of America in the past, and up until today. When it comes to dating I meet so many women, try to treat everyone as I want to be treated, but there are some that stand out to me in a good way.

    With black women, to be completely honest, it is those women who have chosen the route of natural hairstyle. I have two older sisters and I have seen literal tears shed during the maintenance of their hair, it was painful and time consuming. I often helped with hair care, especially on Sundays when we had to get to church. I’m no stranger to the negatives of natural hair. That being said, I am initially attracted to the woman who chooses to go natural with her hair. I can spot weaves faster than I can blink, and no I have never really like Beyoncé’s weave or Meagan Good’s hair. Lupita Nyong’o on the other hand is another story. I am just a natural man, whether it be with hair, or makeup, or body type. Reality is better in my opinion, than some magazine or music video’s perception of beauty.

    If you use a weave, good for you, you gotta do you. I’m not throwing shade at anybody. But with what I have seen growing up, with the effect that weave/weave culture has had on black women, and with the dominance of a certain phenotype (long straight hair) in the perception of black beauty – I am not, and never really have been, attracted physically to a woman with a weave. It’s not my thing. Some of you used the example of disease, like if a woman was to contract cancer or some other ailment…That’s a legitimate issue. But, when I get married, it will be because of a beauty that comes from inside the woman not from the top of her head. She will know what her husband likes, but at the same time, she will know what her husband loves, and that is her, with or without weaves. I know there are quite a number of black men who share my viewpoint; and there are also a great deal of black men who don’t care either way. Just my opinion though.

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    • @Elijah Marry me? lol #educatedblackmen

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  3. The girls i’ve dated who wear weaves tend to have smelly hair. For this reason I’m not comfortable getting too close to them intimately. Girls without weaves (whatever race) I have no problem. Also tbh the girls I’ve dated who go natural tend to be more down to earth and better individuals overall.

    The same rule applies for girls who wear makeup everyday. Date night or a formal occasion fine but not everyday. Though eyeliner and lipstick are not so bad for regular use. Just my .02

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  4. Interesting.
    Weaves – Extensions – Wigs – Hair hats. Such things says that the woman has deep insecurities, At some point in their lives they rejected what they are and are trying to be something they are not.
    So more often than not it disqualifies the woman when it comes to sex – dating and relationships because it is either a warning sign or a deal breaker. I ask myself: Do I want to deal with this? When the answer is no I just leave her alone, ignore all indicators of interest but will be civil or professional but won’t come unto her.

    With the women that don’t need, won’t use are not dependent on another woman’s hair (inside or outside their ethnicity). It is a refreshing break, Yeah they will have their own things to deal with.
    But that is much more appealing and I won’t have to deal with questions like: What is wrong with the hair that grew out of your head? Why do you expect anyone to love or accept you when you don’t love or accept yourself?

    But the women that depend on another woman’s hair or yak hair weave or horse hair weave take pride in something that did not grow out of their own head. and will defend it. It is their choice what they put in the hair it is my choice not to deal with it.

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    • Just because a woman decides she wants to add extentions to her hair, whether it be for length or volume- does not indicate insecurities. Women change their wigd and weave all the time, just because theyre in the mood for something new. I, for one have brastrap length hair thats thick and healthy but if I want to try out a new color without going through the hassle of dying my hair, then I’ll be quick to try out a new lace front and have fun doing it. If I can try something new then why not? If men arent down with it, thats a pretty petty thing to decide whether or not a women is right for you. And say if a woman has a bad haircut, or god forbid a disease and this does cause insecurities, the last thing she needs is a shallow man judging her based on her hair style anyway.

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    • I’ve been natural for 10 years and I must say sometimes we need a short break. You have absolutely no idea how long that it takes us to do our hair and it can be tiring. Please don’t be impractical about asking a woman to keep her real hair 24/7. What if she is actually natural but you are so short sighted that you wrote her off before giving her a chance. Do some investigation FIRST before ignoring her.

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      • His preference, he doesn’t owe you that. If he doesn’t like weave, he doesn’t like it, and just because he has an opinion contrary to yours doesn’t make him wrong; you can’t force people to like what you bring to the table, if he doesn’t like it in his dating life, that’s his business.

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  5. In my experience men like the natural hair best. in my past relationships they loved pulling, touching, and even SMELLING my natural hair. Me being natural was something they bragged about to their friends. Something that made me unique and different from any other women they dated. on occasion when I did wear weave they said it looked nice but the enthusiasm wasnt there. One went as far to ask me why do black women want hair like white women? I laughed and told him thats a 5 hour conversation were not about to have.

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  6. Nice article.
    I do not think the man’s opinion should count, but obviously if he hates it, you are going to hate it. I wrote about this on my blog just examining boy’s reactions to weaves.
    Just asked husband what he prefers and her mmm whatever you like really as long as you don’t do it and moan about it!

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    • You don’t feel a Man’s opinion should count? Wow. So, a Man, in a relationship with a Woman or who is contemplating getting into a relationship with a Woman should have no opinion on whether or not he wants to accept fakery, trickery, false advertising, lies or whatever adjective you want to insert for the way these Women are presenting themselves to be when clearly they aren’t even close to that look when all of those “accessories” are taken off? That shows a very deep seated Narcissistic personality on your part, for you feel everything is about you the other person who has a 50% stake in the relationship with you opinion does not even matter. You are a very selfish person if.that is your viewpoint and no straight up, mature, responsible, educated Man is going to even entertain himself with anyone with your “all about me” attitude.

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  7. I loved this article! Even though I do not wear weave often I think it is an enhancement or to switch up your look.

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  8. They all prefer it natural but they aren’t the ones that have to spend 2 hours washing, drying, and flat ironing it so I don’t really care what they want! It’s all about me!

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    • I have a lot of virgin hair for a black woman, but it looks like a helmet and I just look mean. I have tried it straight but it lacks the volume and elasticity my lace wig gives me. And I look so much better with a lace wig. I wash and condition my natural hair about 3 times a week and I have about 20 glueless lace wigs. I take a lot of pride in them, their my hair because I bought them and they cost enough. My lace wig doesn’t smell because I use expensive products and change it anyway every week. My point is that yes I agree with Mila when she says and said it best, IT’S ALL ABOUT ME. I’m not going to walk around with my helmet hair to get any man’s approval or to look “natural” to please anyone. WTF does “natural” mean anyway? (All my point of view of course. Respect to everyone). 🙂

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    • It’s not that hard to care for natural hair,as a black woman most black women aren’t learning from the right people.

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  9. Hi ladies,

    I would really appreciate your help; I have moved to Toronto a month ago and am in desperate need of finding a good, reliable place to get my extensions re-sewn. I made the mistake of trusting the word of one hairdresser when I arrived and she completely ruined my extensions (loose braid that is completely falling apart after not even a month, normally my sew-ins have stayed perfectly attached for 3 months, until they are grown out and need to be re-done for that reason). I really need to find a person that is capable of doing a small, unnoticeable braid and attaching the extension to it so that it wont start coming off. Thanks in advance for the expert advice!!

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  10. My husband doesn’t really care how my hair is done as long as it looks nice. I think sometimes he prefers something like braids or a natural looking hairstyle. For instance, I had a natural looking curly weave in that he really liked once. Even though it was a weave he liked the look because it looks like my natural hair when I don’t have a relaxer. I think the bottom like for any man is that his woman look nice, whether its a natural or a weave. If its about deal breakers with him then that’s one dude with a problem who will never find a woman if he’s hung up on petty stuff like that.

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  11. My husband is only concerned with whether my hair looks nice or not. Since being married 17 years, I have worn my hair natural, relaxed, and weaves and he has liked them all. I find that it is only OTHER BLACK WOMEN who have a problem with me wearing a weave or having permed hair. That only tells me that jealous and envy is involved . . .

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  12. They say they want natural but as soon as that remy comes out they start drooling.

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  13. My husband likes both my long weave and my short natural hair. Weave allows me to have the best of both worlds. Most men dnt like to be fooled by it, if asked be honest. If u flaunt it like it’s natural then it should be.

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